It’s rather amazing that certain family members can spread lies all over social media, and the only recourse you have is to….type this to yourself and hope to find catharsis. I don’t want to start a war, and frankly I don’t want anything to do with this person, but it becomes exhausting feeling as if I have no recourse against the gaslighting and lies of people who once were in our lives.
I am not happy your father is in contact with you. In fact, I can’t see even one indicator that you’ve changed for the better. You still don’t have any inkling of what truth is, or what repentance even means, indicated by the posts you make on social media. You recently posted that your dad having sex with your mom in your own house, in marriage, caused you harm. You lied that your bedroom was above theirs, but that’s not even the truth. You can’t even tell the truth to perfect strangers, you use lies to perpetuate whatever victim status you choose. You have been so warped by your mother, that you can’t see truth in anything.
There is no relationship without truth. You want to punish your dad for his perceived indiscretions, while ignoring every thing you have done, or your mom. Your dad has apologized for his role, he has been very honest and open with you, but when have you ever apologized for anything? You are never wrong, you have done nothing wrong, even when you are slandering us on social media and to family members. You recently told your dad he “doesn’t know your life” because he hasn’t been here, and yet you believed you knew exactly what was going on in this home when you weren’t present more than three days in the last 12 years. You are so entrenched in lies, it never occurred to you to ask questions about the truth. You are okay with focusing on the lies because you don’t have to evaluate your own soul if lies are acceptable.
The shallow back and forth the last two years by cards and gifts (on his part, you have never actually bought him a gift in his lifetime) were uncomfortable for me. I wanted your dad to keep the door open, hoping your maturity would help. But nothing has progressed, and your only desire is to try and blame him for everything while ignoring your own part in everything. YOU chose to not have a relationship with him. YOU allowed your own mother to prevent you from having a conversation on the phone YOUR FATHER paid for. YOU threatened your dad that you would run away if he got custody of you (while you were living with an ex-con and his wife and child, your mom and her boyfriend in a two bedroom mobile home).
Your dad did file for custody of you, which you seem to ignore, and he was denied custody based on your mother’s lies that you were living with her mother in a safe place.
In the end, the saddest part is that you created the life you have by denying your father, by refusing to be truthful with him, by playing the games your mom created, then you claim HE didn’t raise you. When he didn’t give you everything you wanted (like a free college education, but sorry, your mom cost him more than $15,000 in legal fees because she kept insisting she had to get surgery before the divorce and then never actually did it, she spent that money through the divorce, alimony and child support so your anger is misplaced). Oh yeah, we didn’t buy you a car either. Sorry, but again, if your mom was working and bothered to contribute at all, we could’ve helped, but instead your deadbeat mom made you register HER car and pay HER fines, but somehow WE are the jerks.
I frankly hold little hope that you will ever see your role in anything, your choices, and be repentant. I have recently learned you have no problems living off the government like your mom did, so apparently the apple did not fall far from the tree afterall.