RMLE

My Mil’s best friend died last week, which devastated my mil. We wanted to support her, so we went to the funeral with her on Saturday.

The church is Catholic with a mostly Spanish-speaking congregation. It’s not the home parish of my mil’s best friend because hers was not available for the day, so this is a sister parish.

Sadly, it didn’t seem much like a celebration of HER life, but rather a typical service at this parish. The music sounded very mariachi, and most of the service was sung. The Bible references were strange as well. It made me sad overall that the service was not at all like her or even about her.

It made me think of my own parents. They don’t go to church, haven’t been a member of a church in many decades, aren’t affiliated with any church, and likely anything planned would be in a church that doesn’t know them at all. After my dad’s brain bleed in 2020, I recommended to my mom she ask where my dad wants buried. He said Ft Logan, so at least I know where to have the graveside ceremony.

When my fil died in 2015, the worst came out in everyone. It was a horrible experience I don’t want to relive again. I honestly dread the day I have to deal with death and my parents, even though the last decade with my parents in the same home has been painful and full of passive-aggressive insults, retaliation and rejection. Moving on from this current pain and prison would eventually lift a load from my shoulders, but I know the journey will be horrific.

My mil is pretty healthy, but relationships with my husband’s sisters are very toxic (and frankly don’t exist). When my mil passes, I foresee the same horrible experience as when my fil died. The only solace is that there is very little to fight over (and we want nothing anyway) so if we will be able to get through the funeral (and likely just let my sil do whatever she wants and stay away from planning) we will be released from those relationships (not our choice, but best for all of us).

It’s so odd being at “that age” when you are anticipating the next funeral. My cousin died almost two months ago, he was 54. My parents and their generation are in their late 70s now, so this is the beginning of the walk through the end of their generation. It’s sad for me, especially because most of them don’t really seem to know the Lord, and they don’t seem to WANT to, even in their last days.

The Catholic Church teaches that infant baptism is the baptism of believers, and that’s all you need to be saved. In fact, the funeral at this Catholic Church reiterated this exact belief. My reading of the Bible contradicts this assertion, thus my sorrow as I have witnessed my own parents and my dad’s family rarely attend church, speak boldly on their belief that abortion is okay, uphold gay marriage, and rarely give themselves to service.

Tags: church, funeral