It’s strange knowing that you have five biological children, two my marriage, and yet only four exist in your world.
In some ways, it’s easier, I’ll admit. These three have no desire to hear words of wisdom or be directed by anyone or anything but their own desires. They already know it all, though their lives are not a reflection of knowing what a healthy life looks like…let alone godly.
My parents weren’t the best parents, they had many issues, but the idea of cutting them out permanently because I didn’t like their advice, or I didn’t like they had an opinion about my life choices, was an insane thought.
As much as there were problems, there were also helpful solutions my parents had for me when I needed them. There were good times. And now that my mom is gone, I am grateful for those good times. I was the daughter I was supposed to be. No regrets.
I wonder if the three estranged children even understand the concept of their own narcissism in that they somehow have a right to be so self-centered that every choice has to benefit them alone?
They believe they know what giving and sacrifice is, but I see no fruits of such a thing.
I certainly don’t expect a Christian life from non-Christians, but the concept of constant victimhood has invaded our culture. Normal life obstacles are now “trauma,” normal sadness is “depression,” and all of it is solved by pills that don’t work, instead of hard work, exercise, nutrition, emotional support, and maturing.
I’ve learned the use of SSRIs makes people numb, lacking empathy, lacking care for many things, even lacking a sex drive. That explains my parents as much as the three estranged children.
It breaks my heart that they choose to reject people that love them.
The following passage is very difficult for some to understand. Shouldn’t we choose our children over Jesus? Even choose our children over our spouse? That’s the conventional wisdom, and yet not of Christ.
One particular daughter believes we should choose her over Christ as it’s just our religion, but can’t understand that all life and all decisions are based on what it means to be In Christ:
We wanted to reach out, to be connected, and we didn’t require conversion to be connected…just conversation and civility. In return, she wanted us to take responsibility for every ill in her life, every bad decision she made, her “trauma.” She didn’t want to hear anything about our faith, how we failed at “training her up in the way she should go.” Until we accepted everything wrong in her life was our fault, she didn’t want to hear about Christ.
That is how families are divided. The hostility toward God, his own rules for our lives, His expectations, would create a divide between those In Christ, and those who reject Christ.
A non-believer would see this as some arrogant statement and we are all in a cult.
A believer sees that no matter how much reason, historical proof and congruence of the Bible you offer, non-believers will never see it clearly.
With 2 of the 3, we planted the seed. It’s up to God to water it. We are always here to provide that water if asked.
With one, we never had the opportunity to plant the seed. So we pray someone else does.