We slept in this morning. Well, Shane slept, I tossed and turned and fought with the worst pillows on which I have ever slept. They LOOK fluffy, but the minute you lay on them, they deflate. Even with two pillows stacked, it’s like having maybe one flat pillow, and they slide back and forth on each other.


For a better-than-our-usual hotel unlike our usual cheap Choice hotels stay, this is a disappointment! I’ve had much better pillows! Thank goodness for Arnicare arthritis homeopathics!
We are waiting for Shane’s best friend to arrive, so let me share how I feel about my birthday.
I’m 53. Sometimes I have to choke out that number. My 40s were awesome, I never felt bad about those numbers, especially since I finally got out from under the abuse and felt like a whole person again.
But my face didn’t change so much in my 40s, neither did my body. Now I struggle daily to maintain a healthy weight (which I’m failing at right now), and the changes in my face are disconcerting. I let my hair grow out because I didn’t want the constant chemical exposure, but it also ages me. I miss my dark hair, but I’m more worried about cancer and misery in my old age. My husband loves me, and that matters, and he still finds me attractive.
Mostly, I am just finally feeling the other side of mid-life. I’m not young, I’m not “hip,” I am the older mom with kids heading off into their own lives. I finally look my age, and frankly I’m not a fan. (Working on that sin).
When I think of how many lifetimes I’ve lived, I am very fortunate. Not lifetimes per se, but rather seasons of my life. My life has been very full overall, with so many amazing experiences I have nothing to complain about. But I am feeling my mortality.
Am I the only one that feels every ache and pain and think “maybe this is it! Maybe I’m now dying”? Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but I’ve never been a hypochondriac and now I feel like I have to be “at my age.” I refuse to spend my life seeing doctors, getting constant meds and exams done, constant interventions. I know my body well, and I would hope I would know if something was serious. But the little niggles here and there can get disconcerting.
Now that I have wallowed a bit, we are heading out to see Ft Lauderdale today, and I’m going to enjoy every minute. This may be the last vacation we ever get (more on my doomsday predictions later) and I will enjoy it!
Peace out peeps!
~Dawn